Psychological Facts !!

 *THE DAY LUXURY DESTROYED A HAPPY FAMILY*

A very unusual *“case”* once came to me for legal consultancy.

There was no property dispute. No criminal allegation. No divorce petition. No litigation.

And yet-the house had become a complete civil war zone!

An elderly father abused everyone in the house.

The mother remained depressed, angry, emotionally broken, and slowly slipping into dementia.

The son and daughter-in-law were exhausted and mentally shattered. Everybody was fighting with everybody. The son and daughter-in-law came to me and said:

*“We do not understand what has happened. We gave our parents every luxury possible. But after all comforts entered the house-peace disappeared.”*

Then they narrated the full story:

Both husband and wife had worked for years in multinational companies in Pune. Extremely busy lives. Corporate schedules. Meetings. Deadlines.

Like most modern professionals, they had outsourced almost every household task in their own lives—

Cook, Cleaning, Laundry, Groceries, Everything.

Later they shifted back to Delhi to start their own venture and began living with the husband’s 80-year-old parents after many years. And what they saw surprised them.

*The old couple’s entire life revolved around kitchen work, washing clothes, folding clothes, buying vegetables, arranging utensils, discussing masalas, and managing tiny household chores.*

The son and daughter-in-law felt emotional. They thought:

*“Our parents struggled their entire lives for us. Now it is our duty to give them comfort.”* 

So, they transformed the house.

—A full-time cook was hired. Groceries started coming through Blinkit.

Amazon delivered household supplies.

A full-time attendant was hired for the mother. 

A separate car was kept for the parents.

The attendant massaged her feet, Applied oil in her hair, Brought water, Served tea, took her for walks.

The children thought that Now our parents will finally enjoy life. But, within months, everything collapsed.

—The mother-in-law stopped working completely.

Stopped moving. Stopped thinking. She began sleeping the whole day and complaining constantly.

Growing emotionally dependent. 

Then depression came. Then signs of dementia started appearing.

—The father-in-law became aggressive and bitter. He fought with delivery boys. Insulted maids. Abused cooks. Shouted at attendants. Roamed outside the whole day aimlessly and returned home angry.

The house had become emotionally poisonous.

The son and daughter-in-law sat before me completely confused: 

*“We removed all struggles from their lives. Then why did life become worse?”* 

And honestly, I found this case more profound than many court cases I have handled. Because slowly the real issue became visible. The old parents were not unhappy because work existed earlier.

*They were unhappy because meaning of life had disappeared now.*

Earlier the father woke up with purpose. He made tea for his wife. Read the newspaper with her. Took a cloth bag and went to the market. Discussed vegetables. Compared prices. Bought groceries. Earlier the mother planned meals. Checked masalas. Cooked rotis. Folded clothes. Discussed the next day’s chores.

—These were not merely *“household tasks.”* These were invisible emotional threads that kept two elderly people mentally alive and deeply connected to each other. The kitchen was not merely a kitchen. It was *“companionship.”*

The market was not merely shopping. It was relevance. The small quarrels over coriander and chilies were not conflict. They were communication.

Modern people like us often misunderstand old age. We think old people only need comfort.  *'NO'.*

Human beings do not merely need comfort. Human beings need relevance. The mind needs a project. The body needs movement. The heart needs to feel useful.

So, I suggested something very strange to them.

*“Reduce the luxuries.”* 

Not cruelty. Not neglect. But remove excessive dependency. Remove the full-time attendant. Keep only partial assistance. Give them responsibility again. Give them importance again. Make them needed again.

—The son started telling his mother: 

*“Nobody cooks like you. Please make one sabzi for me daily.”*

The daughter-in-law started telling the father:

*“The vegetables you bring taste fresher.”*

Slowly, the old rhythm of life returned. Again there were discussions.

Again there were plans for tomorrow. Again there were small fights. Again there was movement.

Again there was purpose.

—And slowly… happiness returned too.

That case taught me one of the deepest lessons of human life.

*1. Luxury does not always create happiness.*

*2. Sometimes the smallest daily struggles silently keep human beings alive from within.*

*3. A person must wake up in the morning feeling:*

*“Someone needs me today.” That feeling itself is life.*

Dharavahik upanyas Bhoot-Adbhut!(37)

As I was a little boy I was allowed to go any where in the haveli to play. No one was my friend and I used to play on my own. I was not naughty but curious so by peeping many times I saw them playing Asht/Chang Pe inside and laughing, then I saw many times Kavita giving food to Shamu. I had never been to inside so I didn’t know how many rooms were there inside and how big the haveli was. I never seen them doing any vulgarity. But everything was being done silently. I was not very talkative so I never conveyed these things to anyone. I didn’t find anything bad in it . Mathuradas stopped for a moment and went out to enquire about the time. He came back and said ,” It’s five o’clock now , you must go back to your homes. We’ll continue it later. Don’t worry I will tell you each and every thing which I know about the haveli, but I don’t want your parents to be unhappy and angry with you and I also don’t want loss of your studies too. The girls agreed and got up , came out and then moved towards their homes. ——— Continued—-

Dharavahik upanyas Bhaoot-Adbhut!((36)

Each player has four pawns kept in his own house which is indicated by making a cross in that box. This way for cross are made for four player and one in the middle where everyone has to reach. In stead of dice the players play it with tamarind seeds. Two seeds are broken into two parts, the inner part is white and the outer part is blackish maroon. Like a dice the seeds are thrown by the player, if it shows all white means he has got eight points and he can move his pawn accordingly. If all black it shows four, if three are white three points , if two are shown , two points and if only one white is shown the player gets one, the player moves his pawn from right to left he has to complete outer round and inner round and he can enter from the front side of his home to the destination cross. Who ever left behind out of four players is called defeated. It was a fun filled game and children teenagers liked it too much those days. Kavita and Shamu also liked it . They had been playing the game right from their childhood. During this game winning or defeating they came closer and closer to each other. Now they have had lots of sweet memories of their childhood . They could get very rare chances to meet each other but they never missed any of it.—— Continued ——

Dharavahik upanyas Bhoot-Adbhut!(35)

Mathuradas asked ,” What’s the time ? “ No one had have watch and there was no clock in Mathuradas’s house. So he went out to ask about the time. He came back and said , “ It’s twelve thirty , I need to cook food “ Vishakha said “ No Kaka , you don’t need to cook food we have brought food more than enough, we just need some plates. Mathuradas didn’t have that much utensils so he went in and brought some Pattal Dona ( plates and bowls made by some special type of leaf and they all stitched by the leaf stem. “ All the girls came down from the cot and served food from each lunch box. They happily had enjoyed their lunch together with Mathuradas and then collected the Patral Dona to throw in the dustbin ( not properly a dustbin ) those days people used any thing as dustbin. Mathuradas continued , “ Shamu and Kavita had have very sweet relationship with each other”They used to play indoor games, like luka chhipi ,or “ Asht Chang pe “ ( it’s a very interesting game and Vishakha and her friends were known to it as they themselves play it sometimes in summer vacation. This is a game like ludo but, it was Poor people’s play, without spending any money. Children draw a board divided 5 X 5 boxes Four players can play it at a time with different pawns. ——— Continued —

Dharavahik upanyas Bhoot-Adbhut!(34)

Mathuradas Continued , he said , “ It had happened a number of times that Kaminidevi insisted her husband Chandan Singh to take her with too, to the function or celebration of small or big in the nearby villages.They didn’t want to take Kavita there as these parties were containing alcohol, and dancers too. So Leaving Kavita at home they used to prefer going by their horse cart at that time the cart was driven by Shamu but We know that Shamu was a very good runner too so after dropping them he used to come back running to the haveli. He knew that the Party will continue whole night and there was no use sitting outside in the cart. He always kept this arrival secret. Only Kavita knew that Shamu will be back. They were free in the haveli the childhood’s attachment was converted into love and they crossed the boundaries, this had to happen. Both were getting such opportunities off and on. They were meeting silently and secretly but nothing can be hidden permanently. The workers working in the haveli gradually came to know this but no one conveyed this to Chandan Singh. ———— Continued ——

Dharavahik upanyas Bhoot-Adbhut!(33)

Mathuradas started speaking , “ I was very small but I am blessed with photogenic memory and so I guarantee that word to word which I have narrated is hundred percent truth. Vishakha said , “ Kaka we trust you and we know it’s one hundred percent truth. You please carry on . “ Okay now listen, he started “ Last time I told you that when both the children Kavita and Shamu entered in teenage they were not allowed to meet openly like they were meeting and playing yesterday like children. All day long at home was the routine of girls females those days. Because Chandan Singh was rich and wanted to follow the new trends followed by rich people those days. And so the middle age Samantha was teaching English and the English trends those days rich people followed and so Chandan Singh hired Samantha James as tuition teacher. She used to come at four in the evening and teach English along with the general Knowledge things and the etiquette followed by the high society people those days because it was the time British left India and still the effect was there on some high society people. ————— Continued ——/

Dharavahik upanyas Bhoot-Adbhut!(32)

 Even if Vishakha slept late but she woke up on time. She first kept Pinku’scage in her Parent’s room because she had experienced the strange thing twice and she didn’t want to take any chance now. She then went to the kitchen and said to mummy ,” Please pack my lunch we all friends are going to study all day long together “ Mummy said , “ Okay she didn’t even asked her that in which friend’s house they are going to study. Vishakha went to her room and had have her bath. She got ready at nine forty five. She took some books and notebooks also the lunch box and came out . When she reached out of her street she found all the four friends waiting for her. All started walking towards Mathuradas’s house from the streets less in use. They didn’t want someone to see them. They reached Mathuradas’s house in ten minutes. They knocked the door. Mathuradas opened the door , though he was not informed about their arrival but he was ready. In villages people do bathing early and get ready. He allowed them to come in without asking any question. The girls were sitting on his bed and he himself was sitting on his mudda ( made by cane and straw ) Vishakha said , “ Uncle please today complete the story of Javita and Shamu and the haunted haveli. We have lied to our moms that we are going for combined studies. We have brought lunch for you too but today we will listen the complete story. Mathuradas’s face turned pale by thinking the past but he said okay today I will tell you the complete story. ———- Continued ——