Laughter ( Marathi)

 

विरंगुळा:

1) सकाळी सकाळी बायको चा हसरा चेहरा बघा. दिवस मस्त जातो.

* पु ल देशपांडे 

** मग बायको कुणाची पण असो 

2) डॉक्टर :- हा बोला,  कुठं दुखतंय..? ....

पेशंट : फी कमीकरणार असाल तर सांगतो. ...  नाहीतर शोधा....

3) पुण्यात हल्ली खूप चहाची दुकाने निघालीत.......:

येवले चहा......:

सायबा चहा......:

कडक चहा......:

हरमन चहा......

मायेचा चहा.......:

प्रेमाचा चहा.....

मी एका पुणेकराला सहज प्रश्न विचारला.......

सगळ्यात कोणता चहा चांगला ? ? ?

तर तो म्हणाला......फुकटचा चहा...... 

5) नवरा : मला आज पर्यंत समजलेले नाही की, टी व्ही वर दररोज नवनवीन रेसिपीचा कार्यक्रम बघून सुद्धा घरी खिचडीच का होते ???? 

बायको : हेल्दी आहे ते...सगळे जसे किंगफिशरचे कँलेडर बघून घरात कालनिर्णयच लावतात ना...

आगदी तस्सेच असते हे सुद्धा..

6) एक देशस्थ जाम वैतागला होता. त्याला विचारलं काय झालं तर म्हणतो ह्या कोकणस्थ लोकांचं एक काही धड नसतं - 

रानडे कर्वे रोडवर राहतात 

कर्वे फडके रस्त्यावर राहतात 

फडके लेले आळीत राहतात 

लेले सेनापती बापट रस्त्यावर राहतात 

बापट दांडेकर पुलाजवळ राहतात 

दांडेकर गोखले नगरला राहतात 

गोखले भांडारकर रोड वर राहतात 

आणि भांडारकर रानडे रस्त्यावर राहतात 

अरे आपापल्या गल्लीत रहा ना कुणीतरी .

7) You can't outsmart a Punekar:-

मुंबईकर: तुमच्याकडे गणपती किती दिवस बसतो 

पुणेकर: दिड दिवस !!! 

मुंबईकर:किती हा चिकटपणा ?? 

पुणेकर: तुमच्याकडे किती दिवस बसतो ??? 

मुंबईकर : दहा दिवस 

पुणेकर :  गणपती कशाची देवता आहे ?? 

मुंबईकर : बुद्धीची !!! 

पुणेकर : मग बरोबर आहे.....आम्हाला दिड दिवस पुरतो. 

8) दुकानदार - साहेब, काय देऊ?

ग्राहक - होणाऱ्या बायकोच्या कुत्र्यासाठी केक द्या.

दुकानदार - बांधून देऊ की इथेच खाणार? 

9) मुंबईत समुद्राजवळ रहाणाऱ्यांनी कृपया धोतर व टोपी घालू नये. वादळ घुसलं तर पॅराशुट होईल! 

10) पुण्यातील सोसायटीच्या बाहेर लागलेली पाटी 

IIअतिथि देवो भव II 

परंतु देवांना नम्र विनंती आहे की त्यांनी आपापली पुष्पक विमाने सोसायटीच्या बाहेर पार्क करावी...

11) मुलगा- मी तुमच्या मुलीवर 10 वर्षांपासून प्रेम करतोय 

पुणेरी वडील - मग आता काय पेन्शन मागायला आलायस ??

 

12) भिकारी : साहेब खूप भूक लागली आहे. ५ रुपये द्या ना

पुणेकर : १०० रुपयाची नोट आहे ९५ रुपये सुट्टे आहेत का?

भिकारी : हो आहे ना साहेब

पुणेकर : मग आधी ते खर्च कर. भिकारचोट कुठला.

13) स्थळ :- सदाशिव पेठ

गिऱ्हाईक : “हियरिंग एड चे यंत्र केवढ्याला?” 

दुकानदार :-“वीस रुपयापासून पाच हजार रुपये पर्यंत आहेत.” 

गिऱ्हाईक :- “वीस रुपयांचे बघू.” 

दुकानदार:-  “हे घ्या...

कानात एक बटण आणि कानातून शर्टाच्या खिशात एक वायरचा तुकडा सोडायचा...." 

गिऱ्हाईक :- “हे कसं काम करतं?” 

दुकानदार  :- “काहीच काम करत नाही. पण ते बघून सगळे जण तुमच्याशी मोठ्याने बोलायला लागतात...... 

पुण्यात सर्वात जास्त खप असलेलं, हेच एकमेव यंत्र आहे..

15) कधी विचार केला: M सरळ आणि W उलटे का लिहितो?

कारण Men सरळ आणि Women उलटा विचार करतात काल ही कथा थेट माझ्यासोबत घडली ……

16) काल मी लिफ्टने वर जात होतो, त्यावेळी एका बाईने लहान मुलासह लिफ्टमध्ये प्रवेश केला .. !!

मी लिफ्टचे बटण दाबले आणि विचारले: "दुसरा की तिसरा"?

बाईंनी रागाने म्हटले, "आत्या आहे मी याची" 

Dharavahik upanyas Bhoot-Adbhut!(38)

When Vishakha  reached home her home her mummy was waiting for her. In a small village it can’t be hidden that who is visiting whose home. Yes ! Vishakha’s second visit’s information reached her home before her reaching home. When Mummy asked “why did you go to Mathuradas’s house? She told the truth. She said , “ From the day we had been to Someshvar fair and by mistake lost our way and reached haveli we all the five girls having different scary experiences. You also know the squawking of Pinku and I did tell you but I heard breathing of someone in my room. Even if I stopped breathing for some moments the heavy breathing was still could heard clearly. We all know that Mathuradas is the only old alive person who witnessed everything whatever happened in haveli that time. We wanted to know what was that or is there any way to get rid of these incidents. My two Fuhad seen Shamu on a tailor’s shop at the vegetable market and two had seen him sitting on the tamarind tree. We only want to know the consequences are going to worsen or would it be finish soon. ——— Continued ——-

Psychological Facts !!

 *THE DAY LUXURY DESTROYED A HAPPY FAMILY*

A very unusual *“case”* once came to me for legal consultancy.

There was no property dispute. No criminal allegation. No divorce petition. No litigation.

And yet-the house had become a complete civil war zone!

An elderly father abused everyone in the house.

The mother remained depressed, angry, emotionally broken, and slowly slipping into dementia.

The son and daughter-in-law were exhausted and mentally shattered. Everybody was fighting with everybody. The son and daughter-in-law came to me and said:

*“We do not understand what has happened. We gave our parents every luxury possible. But after all comforts entered the house-peace disappeared.”*

Then they narrated the full story:

Both husband and wife had worked for years in multinational companies in Pune. Extremely busy lives. Corporate schedules. Meetings. Deadlines.

Like most modern professionals, they had outsourced almost every household task in their own lives—

Cook, Cleaning, Laundry, Groceries, Everything.

Later they shifted back to Delhi to start their own venture and began living with the husband’s 80-year-old parents after many years. And what they saw surprised them.

*The old couple’s entire life revolved around kitchen work, washing clothes, folding clothes, buying vegetables, arranging utensils, discussing masalas, and managing tiny household chores.*

The son and daughter-in-law felt emotional. They thought:

*“Our parents struggled their entire lives for us. Now it is our duty to give them comfort.”* 

So, they transformed the house.

—A full-time cook was hired. Groceries started coming through Blinkit.

Amazon delivered household supplies.

A full-time attendant was hired for the mother. 

A separate car was kept for the parents.

The attendant massaged her feet, Applied oil in her hair, Brought water, Served tea, took her for walks.

The children thought that Now our parents will finally enjoy life. But, within months, everything collapsed.

—The mother-in-law stopped working completely.

Stopped moving. Stopped thinking. She began sleeping the whole day and complaining constantly.

Growing emotionally dependent. 

Then depression came. Then signs of dementia started appearing.

—The father-in-law became aggressive and bitter. He fought with delivery boys. Insulted maids. Abused cooks. Shouted at attendants. Roamed outside the whole day aimlessly and returned home angry.

The house had become emotionally poisonous.

The son and daughter-in-law sat before me completely confused: 

*“We removed all struggles from their lives. Then why did life become worse?”* 

And honestly, I found this case more profound than many court cases I have handled. Because slowly the real issue became visible. The old parents were not unhappy because work existed earlier.

*They were unhappy because meaning of life had disappeared now.*

Earlier the father woke up with purpose. He made tea for his wife. Read the newspaper with her. Took a cloth bag and went to the market. Discussed vegetables. Compared prices. Bought groceries. Earlier the mother planned meals. Checked masalas. Cooked rotis. Folded clothes. Discussed the next day’s chores.

—These were not merely *“household tasks.”* These were invisible emotional threads that kept two elderly people mentally alive and deeply connected to each other. The kitchen was not merely a kitchen. It was *“companionship.”*

The market was not merely shopping. It was relevance. The small quarrels over coriander and chilies were not conflict. They were communication.

Modern people like us often misunderstand old age. We think old people only need comfort.  *'NO'.*

Human beings do not merely need comfort. Human beings need relevance. The mind needs a project. The body needs movement. The heart needs to feel useful.

So, I suggested something very strange to them.

*“Reduce the luxuries.”* 

Not cruelty. Not neglect. But remove excessive dependency. Remove the full-time attendant. Keep only partial assistance. Give them responsibility again. Give them importance again. Make them needed again.

—The son started telling his mother: 

*“Nobody cooks like you. Please make one sabzi for me daily.”*

The daughter-in-law started telling the father:

*“The vegetables you bring taste fresher.”*

Slowly, the old rhythm of life returned. Again there were discussions.

Again there were plans for tomorrow. Again there were small fights. Again there was movement.

Again there was purpose.

—And slowly… happiness returned too.

That case taught me one of the deepest lessons of human life.

*1. Luxury does not always create happiness.*

*2. Sometimes the smallest daily struggles silently keep human beings alive from within.*

*3. A person must wake up in the morning feeling:*

*“Someone needs me today.” That feeling itself is life.*

Dharavahik upanyas Bhoot-Adbhut!(37)

As I was a little boy I was allowed to go any where in the haveli to play. No one was my friend and I used to play on my own. I was not naughty but curious so by peeping many times I saw them playing Asht/Chang Pe inside and laughing, then I saw many times Kavita giving food to Shamu. I had never been to inside so I didn’t know how many rooms were there inside and how big the haveli was. I never seen them doing any vulgarity. But everything was being done silently. I was not very talkative so I never conveyed these things to anyone. I didn’t find anything bad in it . Mathuradas stopped for a moment and went out to enquire about the time. He came back and said ,” It’s five o’clock now , you must go back to your homes. We’ll continue it later. Don’t worry I will tell you each and every thing which I know about the haveli, but I don’t want your parents to be unhappy and angry with you and I also don’t want loss of your studies too. The girls agreed and got up , came out and then moved towards their homes. ——— Continued—-

Dharavahik upanyas Bhaoot-Adbhut!((36)

Each player has four pawns kept in his own house which is indicated by making a cross in that box. This way for cross are made for four player and one in the middle where everyone has to reach. In stead of dice the players play it with tamarind seeds. Two seeds are broken into two parts, the inner part is white and the outer part is blackish maroon. Like a dice the seeds are thrown by the player, if it shows all white means he has got eight points and he can move his pawn accordingly. If all black it shows four, if three are white three points , if two are shown , two points and if only one white is shown the player gets one, the player moves his pawn from right to left he has to complete outer round and inner round and he can enter from the front side of his home to the destination cross. Who ever left behind out of four players is called defeated. It was a fun filled game and children teenagers liked it too much those days. Kavita and Shamu also liked it . They had been playing the game right from their childhood. During this game winning or defeating they came closer and closer to each other. Now they have had lots of sweet memories of their childhood . They could get very rare chances to meet each other but they never missed any of it.—— Continued ——

Dharavahik upanyas Bhoot-Adbhut!(35)

Mathuradas asked ,” What’s the time ? “ No one had have watch and there was no clock in Mathuradas’s house. So he went out to ask about the time. He came back and said , “ It’s twelve thirty , I need to cook food “ Vishakha said “ No Kaka , you don’t need to cook food we have brought food more than enough, we just need some plates. Mathuradas didn’t have that much utensils so he went in and brought some Pattal Dona ( plates and bowls made by some special type of leaf and they all stitched by the leaf stem. “ All the girls came down from the cot and served food from each lunch box. They happily had enjoyed their lunch together with Mathuradas and then collected the Patral Dona to throw in the dustbin ( not properly a dustbin ) those days people used any thing as dustbin. Mathuradas continued , “ Shamu and Kavita had have very sweet relationship with each other”They used to play indoor games, like luka chhipi ,or “ Asht Chang pe “ ( it’s a very interesting game and Vishakha and her friends were known to it as they themselves play it sometimes in summer vacation. This is a game like ludo but, it was Poor people’s play, without spending any money. Children draw a board divided 5 X 5 boxes Four players can play it at a time with different pawns. ——— Continued —

Dharavahik upanyas Bhoot-Adbhut!(34)

Mathuradas Continued , he said , “ It had happened a number of times that Kaminidevi insisted her husband Chandan Singh to take her with too, to the function or celebration of small or big in the nearby villages.They didn’t want to take Kavita there as these parties were containing alcohol, and dancers too. So Leaving Kavita at home they used to prefer going by their horse cart at that time the cart was driven by Shamu but We know that Shamu was a very good runner too so after dropping them he used to come back running to the haveli. He knew that the Party will continue whole night and there was no use sitting outside in the cart. He always kept this arrival secret. Only Kavita knew that Shamu will be back. They were free in the haveli the childhood’s attachment was converted into love and they crossed the boundaries, this had to happen. Both were getting such opportunities off and on. They were meeting silently and secretly but nothing can be hidden permanently. The workers working in the haveli gradually came to know this but no one conveyed this to Chandan Singh. ———— Continued ——