Some positive thoughts—
Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged
Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whisky ?
(This is called "Positive Thinking"
Lady to her dietician :- What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.
Doc :- How come???
Lady :- According to my weight, my height should be 7.8 feet...
(Now this is called "Positive Attitude"
A Man wrote to the bank. "My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank".
(This is self confidence in its peak
A cockroach's last words to a man who wanted to kill it : "Go ahead and kill me, you coward. You're just jealous because I can scare your wife and you cannot..!!!!"
Son : Why is 1st April celebrated as Fools Day?
Father : Because after paying all the taxes up to 31st March, we Start working for the government again from 1st April ......
Best answer ever
"Wife ask - why in all marriages girl sits on left side and boy on right side?
"Husband reply - According to profit and loss statement a/c all income is on right side and expenses are on left side".....
Happy New Financial Year!!!!
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