*Some hilarious quotes from celebrities to lighten your mood..!*
When I die, I want to die like my Grand-father who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
*~Will Rogers*
Never under any circumstance take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
*~Dave Barry*
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
*~Miles Kington*
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.
*~Mark Twain*
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born.?
*~Benny Hill*
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
*~Emo Philips*
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
*~Charles Wadsworth*
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
*~Isaac Asimov*
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.
*~Mark Twain*
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic.?
*~Lily Tomlin*
If it's sent by ship, then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.
*~Dave Allen*
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
*~Agatha Christie*
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
*~Robert Bloch*
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
*~Oscar Wilde*
Never disturb a person who is sleeping, he might be on the verge of getting all the wealth and happiness in his dreams.
*"Dharamveer Singh"*
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